Cheer up gang! There's a new water hose on the market that will revolutionize the way you think of water hoses; the top brass water hose, guys. It's a quarter inch by 50 feet, expandable water hose. It's easy to use and easy to put away. It's pretty amazing. Just when you thought the water hose couldn't be improved upon, Top Brass water hose.
Someone, probably a guy or gal named Top Brass, looked at the old water hose (one that doesn't expand), and they thought, “fuck this shitty non-expanding water hose.I COULD DO BETTER. I'm an American, and I can't deal with this over rated water delivery system for another minute. No, from now on, I want the water from my outdoor faucet used strictly to water plants and hose down my concrete sidewalks, to get to the other side of the yard in style, and to collapse in on itself when I'm not using it.
What's more is, I want to be able to put hundreds of pounds of pressure on the nozzle without it getting crushed like some kind of weak little jerk off water hose nozzle.'
So when you're sitting in front of your computer all sad and annoyed at the fact that the comments section of an article giving out tips for iPhone users devolved into two guys fiercely debating and calling each other names over whether Apple or Samsung had the better interface, or you see a hashtag movement to replace a comic book cover gain the support of thousands of people, and you just wish anyone gave a shit about anything real anywhere, remember; this hose expands when you're using it, and it collapses when you're not using it. It practically puts itself away when you're done
