Dead Or Alive You're Getting a Reboot

What the fuck? They've remade Robocop as a PG13 Movie?

This betrays everything I loved about the original. 

Does it? Does it really? 

The original Robocop in my opinion was about the possibilities of a police state and over the top violence used by police in real life on a regular basis. It's funny that the film was made so long before computers and the internet actually made it possible for the US Government to become a real life version of OCP. From the spoof ads to the nature of the big evil in the Robocop films(One and two-don't bother going any further) in many ways Paul Verhoeven's dark view of the future has become all too true.You only need to go to youtube and search police violence at protests to find out that a big chunk of our police forces are completely out of control at this point. Marry that with the truth we all now know about the NSA Surveillance programs and it is down right terrifying how much life imitates art these days. 

What does this have to do with the Robocop remake?

When I first heard that the remake would be a PG 13 version I was apprehensive to say the least. 

The original Robocop was ultra violent and that was the point. In the late eighties before the internet and checking in on Facebook, Twitter etc. it would have taken a pretty violent police force to get people to check in with authorities on a constant basis. We were terrified of anything that carried even a whiff of Orwellian undertones. 

It's a sick sad world and as much as we need a Robocop more than ever, we don't need the same Robocop from the late 80's. Let's face it, if you build a Robocop in 2014 all you need to do is add a Facebook ap, a camera and throw us some points towards some stupid fucking farming game and most people would willingly comply and he never need fire a single shot. In 2014 you don't need bullets to coax Americans into giving up their rights. It's far easier to create a fear and conveniently be the only ones with a plan to protect us from that fear. Robocop doesn't have to be violent he just has to wrap himself in an American flag and promise safety. 

This is not to say that Police brutality is no longer an issue. As I mentioned before you can find countless examples of it on youtube. Unfortunately in the comments under each of those videos there are just as many people who think the victim had it coming.

 "Well they shouldn't have been protesting, the cops are just doing their job."

That's the mantra of a busy, complacent, and lazy public too scared to ask any real questions and too helpless to demand answers if they did ask questions. Robocop doesn't need to be overtly violent anymore. We just assume if police are involved that it's violent. The violence is no longer effective in the story telling because we all know it. Most of us just don't care. 

I guess my point is that Robocop can totally work in 2014 as a PG 13 movie. My hope for the film is that much like the world we live in the surface level of things is sanitized and shiny to draw as many people in as possible. Hopefully, the layers underneath have the same grimey quality as the original. Even though I won't see a recreation of the Dad from that seventies show snorting coke off of a hooker's tits I look forward to seeing this new take on an American classic. I just hope the director/writers have put as much thought into it as I have.

In the end I will approach this the same way I do every remake. Ultimately, I won't care unless someone goes around destroying every copy of the original. 

Wizard World Ohio 2013

CHRIS PAUGH IS A NERD

By Chris Paugh

When I was five years old my family moved from Cleveland, Ohio to a place called Rivesville, West Virginia. We lived in a two family home with a shared basement. The move must have been particularly difficult for one parent or the other because with two exceptions most of what I remember about that year is their fighting. The shared basement I mentioned before, quickly became my favorite hiding place to get away from the grown up’s squabbling. It was in that basement that I stumbled upon what I still consider the greatest find of my life: A stack of damp comic books with rusty staples. The neighbors had apparently packed them away just a little bit too close to our side of the basement.

Later that year as the battle of Mom and Dad raged on they sought counseling.  I was dragged along and had decided on the way there that I did not want to talk to a stranger about my parents fighting.

My parents went in by themselves to begin. Eventually, I was asked to come into the room.

I remained silent and stared away from their voices. That is until the Counselor left the room and returned with the second greatest thing I had ever seen at that point in my young life: a plastic Adam West Batman costume in my size. I finally broke silence.

“But it’s not Halloween.” I said.

“It doesn’t have to be. “ The councilor answered and my eyes lit up.

I wore that Batman costume the rest of the summer. It made me be sneaky enough to get away to the basement to read the neighbor’s entire box of comics.

My parents still got divorced.

I was only six years old and had already set a precedent for the following decade and a half of my life. I was the weird distracted kid in the basement reading comics dressed as Batman. It’s funny how often I find myself today being  the weird distracted comedian telling jokes in a bar basement dressed in a Batman T-Shirt.

This summer I attended the Wizard World Comic book and pop culture convention at the Greater Columbus Convention Center. The last time I attended a comicon was in 2008. That year I met Jason Mewes and inadvertently started a long standing feud with Lou Ferrigno. He knows what he did.

This time around I went with my 12 year old son. Part of his birthday present this year was that he got dressed up as Carl Grimes from The Walking Dead and we had our picture taken with the actor who portrays Carl Grimes on television.  I’m confidently awaiting my Coolest Dad Ever Award.

This brings to my favorite part of Comic book conventions: Cosplayers. Cosplay is a hybrid of role playing and performance art where in the subject dresses in a costume that represents a popular (or niche) character or concept. Most cosplayers are the nicest people you can meet. They take pride in the costumes they make and always have a second to take a picture with a fan of their character .They have an eye for detail that borders on the kind of obsession I can respect as a comedian.

Just walking through the corridor to the convention floor is enough to overwhelm you with a sense of community. Before we had even entered the convention we took pictures with Iron Man, Supergirl and The Doctor. (Doctor Who). The only time I was concerned as a parent was one point when my son and I passed a girl in a Sailor Moon outfit that I am pretty sure jump started my son’s puberty by a year.

The celebrity presence at Comic Book conventions is always wide range. This year the most popular autograph booths belonged to cast members of AMC’s The Walking Dead. Darryl, Merryl, Carl and the old guy were all available at a price for signings and photography. Darryl had the biggest line which I imagined making Sean Astin (who was not far away) jealous for no real reason other than I liked the idea of Darryl shooting a hobbit with his crossbow.

By way of people who have actually participated in the comic book industry; the great Stan Lee was also in attendance. Stan boasted a decent line but while I love and respect Stan: you’re probably more special at this point in fandom if you haven’t met the man.

Not far from Stan Lee sat William Shatner. His autographs are a bit pricier but I understand they come with reasonable air fare to anywhere in the continental US.  I saw a Storm Trooper in his line and called security. I don’t trust the Star Wars crowd anywhere near the captain. Not after last time.

Another highlight for my son and I as Doctor Who nerds was the crazy amount of people dressed as the Tenth and Eleventh regenerations of the Doctor. One guy couldn't have looked more like the Tenth Doctor- David Tennant until he started to talk. That’s when I realized that Americans who Cosplay as British characters should probably take a diction class or just not even try the accent. “Hullo, I’m the Doctah.”  You ruined it man. You ruined it.

Overall , the convention was a blast. I will definitely attend next year but I’m thinking maybe this time I get a two day pass. One day to go with my son and the other day to look for the Sailor Moon girl from this year. If you’re out there find me on the internet Sailor Moon.